Coast to Coast
I had the chance since I last posted to be in New York City, and it had been 5 years since I’d last visited. Of course, being there brought back all kinds of memories…having lived there before moving to California. Being there again instantly made me feel the way I’d grown accustomed to feeling as an NYC resident. It’s constant excitement and constant stress. In some ways I miss it (to the point that I frequently dream that I’ve moved back there), but in many ways I don’t. Visiting for a few days was perfect.
What I noticed about being there was a sense of nostalgic loss, if that makes sense. Even though living there didn’t suit me in the ways I always thought it would and I ultimately moved away feeling a bit relieved (read Newbie if you haven’t yet), it was still a dream I had, to live there. And I did it. I went all in for it, selling everything I owned and showing up at my tiny studio apartment on the Upper East Side with 3 suitcases and a cat in tow. It’s not something everyone is up for, that kind of change and risk (I didn’t know anyone there and planned to quit my job after arriving to pursue a new career dream…one that oddly enough had nothing to do with finance or Broadway). It’s just about the bravest I’ve felt in my life, so being there last month made me miss that girl. The girl I was. The girl who did that.
I’m still the same girl, of course, but life has settled somewhat since then. Career, relationships, homeownership. The window for picking up and completely switching gears has closed somewhat, which is probably fine. I don’t feel the need to make those types of dramatic shifts anymore (although never say never), but then I suppose there is some comfort in that as well. And as we celebrate this great nation today, it’s made me think about the journey from one coast to another. Whether we spend our lives living in various points between the two, rarely leave a small town, fly over the expanse of states frequently, or take the opportunity to drive cross-country (as I did when I moved from East to West), there is so much beauty and goodness to be experienced in this country where we live. God bless America, today and always.