follow tali on ...

the everyman memoirs

The official blog of author Tali Nay.
JUL
16

Tradeoffs

I would give a writing update, only I don't have one. Like, none at all. Because I haven't been writing. It's shameful. Not to say there's nothing in the works, because I did recently get asked to contribute to a book of essays being published and had a fun (read: rather torturously self-reflective) time writing that one, and I may be part of a group of single women writers launching a blog forum in the near future, so, there are writerly things happening. But as for progress toward my next book, who has the time? The answer is, not me.

There's a reason all my writing (and reading) time has disappeared, and it's because I joined a gym at the start of the year. Yes, I've become a gym rat. And I hate it. Or maybe what I mean is that I hate that I love it. In my defense though, it's not a typical gym. No sweaty, beefy body-building types. It's actually a wellness center that partners with a local hospital and focuses on rehabilitation, but also offers stellar classes and top-notch amenities. Honestly, it's nice. And while I do at times grapple with feeling like by paying the hefty membership fee that I'm contributing to White Privilege at its finest, it's a pretty incredible facility.

So there go all my weekday evenings.

And weekend mornings.

It's not so much that I want to get my money's worth (I totally want to get my money's worth), it's more that I set a fitness resolution at the beginning of the year. My usual method when it comes to resolutions is to set a crap load of them and then hope to hit at least some of them, at least the easy ones like "Take more vacations." But when you split yourself and your intentions so widely, I find it harder to really make progress. So this year I set only two resolutions, one fitness oriented and the other finance oriented. So while my writing efforts have gone to pot, we're halfway through the year, and both my fitness and financial resolutions are still on track, and to me that is satisfying.

Tradeoffs are such a bitch.

(PS - if you're looking for an interesting read featuring an excellent essay about how women have taken back "bitch" and are now coming for "crazy," check out All the Lives I Want. From Anjelica Huston to Sylvia Plath, the author delves into societal topics, mostly related to women, that don't get talked about enough. Or really ever.)

JAN
14

The Impossibility of Time Management

I went to time management workshop a few years ago as part of a weekend conference, and I remember it changing my life. Because of how horribly depressed it made me. After asking the audience to list the roles and responsibilities that require chunks of time (in other words, what we do with ourselves all day), it became painfully obvious that only a small fraction of the listed items could actually be accomplished. Not that I didn't already know there was not enough time in the day, but now, through a rather clever illustration on the board and a speaker who seemed an authority on the topic, getting done the things that you want to had been proven officially hopeless. The speaker did go on to suggest some techniques for getting more done, and I remember these changing my life too, but still, I'll never forget the sense of hopelessness that overcame me in that workshop.

As a person with a full-time job, I find it particularly hard to find time for the things I want and need to do that don't involve work. Because for at least 10 hours of every day, I am committed to my job and can do nothing else. Not that that's stopping me from writing this. From my desk. At my office. But anyway, with the time that's left in the evenings, I can pick only a handful of things to accomplish. And I've been thinking about this in conjunction with my New Year's resolutions. Because like everyone else, there are certain things I'm resolving to spend more time doing. Like reading and writing. Aside from the fact that one of my other resolutions (to do more to serve and help others) would seem to conflict with these resolutions to increase the time I spend doing things for myself (reading and writing), there's the bigger issue that increasing time doing ANY of these things means finding more time period. It means cutting time away from other activities, only I'm not sure there's anything to be cut.

I know, I know, it's the story of our lives. It's just been on my mind this month. And the excitement over goals and projects and new beginnings is once again being overshadowed by the slight depression of realizing I simply can't accomplish everything. Or anything even remotely close to a small fraction of everything. I'd attend another workshop, but who has the time??

latest tweets

TaliNayBooks I'm sure they'll reach out for the "Authors You've Never Heard Of" edition. #authors #style #joandidion https://t.co/gQE9hPO7r3
TaliNayBooks Look what the new donut shop made me do. #LookWhatYouMadeMeDo https://t.co/qEDM446YSZ
TaliNayBooks I think that's how you know it's a good book.